Magic and Destiny: How MLP and Genshin Impact Helped Me Overcome the Darkness and Change My Life
Part 1 (MLP - My Little Pony) | 2012 – 2016
I wrote this part of the story years ago; I apologize if the writing seems a bit juvenile, as I was still a teenager when I writed.
I was in a very dark place. I was constantly fighting with my family—my grandfather, my grandmother, and my mother. We argued over the smallest things almost every day. I felt perpetually upset, sad, and hopeless. I lived in a rural, isolated town, and I also got into a lot of trouble at school. Surrounded by problems, I just wanted everything to end.
My mother and I moved to a better city. It felt like things would be wonderful until, during my first few days of school, some older boys got jealous because I was the teacher’s favorite. They ganged up on me—6 against 1. I was badly beaten. The case went to the police and then to court; in the end, those who were legal adults were convicted. I was physically hurt, in a strange city, and overwhelmed by life. I thought it couldn't get worse, but thankfully, it didn’t.
Over time, I improved. Using the criminal record of the assault, my mother managed to enroll me in the second-best school in the city. I went from one of the worst schools to one of the best. I moved on with my life; I felt lonely, as I had friends who eventually betrayed me, leaving me with only one true friend.
I decided I needed to reach out to someone in my family who could help, so I contacted my half-sister on my father's side. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in five years. I am so grateful to her for helping me get through that phase. I was in a deep depression, crying every day and wanting to be alone; I had even planned to take my own life. But my sister fell from the sky like an angel. Even from a distance, we talked almost every day.
Things seemed perfect, but then they took a turn for the worse: my mother got news that my grandmother’s cancer had returned. We rushed to help. The atmosphere was incredibly sad: my grandmother was suffering, my grandfather was desperate, my mother was trying to hold everything together, and I was miserable, far from my friends and my home. After experimental treatments failed, my grandmother passed away. I was in an indescribable state; I was so desperate I was hoping for a miracle.
When I returned home, I tried to move on. My sister helped me forget the pain and I was finding happiness again, but the trauma remained. I developed severe OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder), such as constant internal intrusive thoughts and washing my hands every minute. I played violent games and was hostile toward others. My compulsions worsened to the point where I agreed to see a psychiatrist. After starting medication, I was transformed; I feel that since that day, I’ve become a happier person.
Sometime later, I was excited to travel to see my paternal grandparents and my sister. During the trip, I found out my father would be there too. I was stunned, as I hadn't seen him in nine years. When I arrived and saw them both in the living room, I felt sick and nearly fainted from the emotion. I tried to talk to my sister privately for five days, but she was very shy and there was too much pressure on us; the whole family was always around, and we had no privacy.
Late one night, we finally managed to talk. She confessed she couldn't handle the pressure either. In a moment of desperation, I suggested we run away. She thought I was crazy (I had always been a "good kid," I never even lied to my family). In the end, we didn't do it; we just talked and shared secrets until we fell asleep. I was radiant.
The next day, however, everything changed: my sister started ignoring me. She said I had misunderstood everything and that she would never abandon her family. I felt like I fell into a bottomless pit. To make matters worse, the night before, my father had polished off a bottle of wine and pulled me aside to talk about the universe, science, and politics. He thought he had won me over and that we were best friends. On one side, he was happy and trying to get close; on the other, my sister wouldn't even look at me.
Unable to take it, I called my aunt, who is a psychologist, into a bedroom. I locked the door and let it all out: I told her how hurt I was by my sister’s reaction, explained I was only there because of her, and said I didn't see the rest of them as family. I showed her our Facebook chat history from the past few months. I begged her to intervene, but it didn't help. My aunt explained that my sister also suffered from depression and Borderline Personality Disorder, besides facing financial and psychological struggles with her own mother. I realized we were in similar situations. I asked my aunt to call my mother, and I decided to go home early.
I was devastated. I did nothing but sleep and cry. One night, I lay under the stars and entered a sort of trance, talking to the universe. My family tried to pull me out of it, and my grandfather had to carry me to bed.
Back home, my mother moved up my appointments. The psychiatrist doubled my medication, and I started therapy. I was at rock bottom: I planned my suicide and even grabbed a knife, but my mother stopped me. I stayed locked inside the house without leaving for six months and underwent intensive treatment for four months until I started feeling better.
I was still sad, as was my mother. She told the psychiatrist that she only watched true crime shows, and he suggested we switch to cartoons. I started watching Discovery Kids, Cartoon Network, and Nickelodeon. One day, coming home early from school, I saw My Little Pony. I started following the schedule and eventually began downloading episodes online. I discovered the MLP Wikia and read everything about the characters. My mother and I binge-watched the first few seasons together. It brought me a level of happiness I had never felt before. Sometime later, we decided to move to a major metropolis.
Part 2 (Genshin Impact) | 2017 – 2025
This part was written in 2025.
After arriving in the city, things were going well until my mother reconnected with an old acquaintance from her youth. They started dating, and he became my stepfather. The problem was that my mother suffered from chronic shoulder pain and took heavy medication. My stepfather, a drug user, led her down that path. They started with marijuana and progressed to cocaine; they essentially blew the value of a house on their addiction. Once, my stepfather had a breakdown and attacked both me and my mother. He was arrested, and I was left with a scar on my forehead that I still carry today (I needed six stitches).
After that, she got pregnant at 41 (my brother is 20 years younger than me). I couldn't stand the environment anymore and moved out on my own with financial help from my grandfather. At first, it seemed okay, but I couldn't handle the loneliness. I wasn't working or studying; I spent months playing League of Legends, neglecting my health and my home. I eventually had a psychotic break and was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward for 40 days.
There, I met amazing people, including a girl I fell in love with at first sight, though the relationship didn't work out due to her own health struggles. I left the hospital with diagnoses of OCD, Depression, Anxiety, Depersonalization, and the main one: Bipolar Disorder. This means living between states of euphoria and depression, shifts that can happen in seconds or last months. It’s a chronic condition; I take strong medication daily, along with a stomach protector.
In 2019, my brother was born. My mother eventually separated from my stepfather, and I moved back in with her and my little brother. In 2020, I started playing Genshin Impact at launch. In 2021, after some drama in Discord communities, I decided to create my own server with friends. That changed my life. I met my best friend, Kuma, who helps me with in-game challenges like the Abyss, while I return the favor by exploring and doing tedious events for him. He lives in a different state, but I plan to visit him next year during my work vacation, along with three other friends who live nearby.
Our server is small and private; we spend 10 to 16 hours a day (or more) in voice calls, speaking in our native Brazilian Portuguese. Out of 60 members, about 12 are very active. This group was essential for maintaining my mental stability during the pandemic, which was also when I started college and began working.
In 2025, I became more active on X (formerly Twitter) and met wonderful people who welcomed me with open arms and love. If you’ve read this far, it’s because you care about me or you're just very curious. Let’s see what the future holds.
Facts about me:
Name: Gabriel, 26 years old.
Physical: 1.68m (5'6"), curly hair, wears glasses. I have small, soft hands (people tell me I have "girl hands").
Personality: Introverted but talkative; my social battery runs out eventually. I used to be very shy, but not anymore.
Health/General: Allergic to chocolate (I can eat chocolate-flavored things, but not a chocolate bar). I am heterosexual and have never been in a relationship.
Education: Degree in Graphic Design (insert "graphic design is my passion" meme here).
Family: I live with my mother and my little brother; I love them very much.
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